I’ve had very similar conversations over the last few months with many different women who were feeling worn out, stretched too thin, and totally overwhelmed. It really got me thinking about the good advice that I have been given over the years that has helped me cope with motherhood. I thought about what words of advice for moms who are overwhelmed like me I would share as I was driving my kids around to all their stuff.
I know I’ve driven myself into the ground and caused my depression to spiral out of control by not taking care of my needs. It’s taken me years to figure out what triggers my depression and how I need to manage it. Yet I still let myself get roped into things that cause me to neglect myself and draw myself too thin. There is such a temptation to try to do it all and we really cannot do it all! We cannot be everything to everyone and still come out of the other end okay.
So here it goes!
5 Words of Advice For Moms Who Are Overwhelmed
1. It’s okay to feel like a failure
I don’t know of any mom who hasn’t felt like a failure at some point. We are family managers who are trying to juggle not only our own schedule but everyone else’s as well. You will forget to take a child to an appointment or to pick them up from an activity. Your child will be the one to throw an epic tantrum in public or forget to wear their shoes to school. We all have experienced failure in some way and probably in many different ways, and that’s okay.
2. It’s okay to ask for help
Lately I have felt like I’m drowning. I’ve been stretched so thin trying to do everything and I realized that I literally was wearing myself down. I’ve had to ask friends to pick up my kids from school or to watch one child so I could take another to a doctor’s appointment. My family has stepped up big time to help take care of my kids when my husband and I had an opportunity to get away for the first time in almost 9 years.
Recently, my depression has reared it’s ugly head and I’ve felt not only emotionally drained but physically as well. It’s been a fight to get out of bed and take care of myself, let alone my children. On those days it’s really easy to feel that I suck but really it’s that I’m overwhelmed.
Know that you don’t have to do it all! Ask for help- from family, from friends, or from neighbors. If you need to, hire a baby sitter or order your groceries. Saving your sanity and emotional bank to care for yourself and the roller coaster task of raising children is so important! Just ask!
3. It’s okay to say no
Along with number two, sometimes you just need to say no. I often feel like I’m letting everyone down if I don’t volunteer for everything whether it’s a family event, a church activity, or for the PTA. I have multiple kids, a husband with a crazy schedule, and a blog that I am passionate about! I have a limited amount of extra time available to give to only a few extra things each day. In reality, saying no is me acknowledging I have no more time, emotion, or strength to give to anything else. And that’s okay!
4. It’s okay to take shortcuts in the kitchen
I’ve realized over the last several years that there is a huge amount of mom guilt stemming from what we make in the kitchen. There has been a huge push to eat fresh, healthy, and organic for every meal and snack. That’s great and I’m all for making healthier and smarter food choices but no one should feel guilty for the choices they have to make. There is moderation in all things and for some of us that means using prepackaged products to get food on the table. That’s okay and no one should make you feel guilty for that.
5. It’s okay to not be supermom
I know there is a lot of conflict over the term “supermom.” Really, I think it’s meant to be a compliment but sometimes it can feel like an accusation. Going back up to number one, every mom has felt overwhelmed at some point and the complete opposite of supermom. Sometimes you may feel like you have it all together and it’s great if you feel like supermom. But when you feel like the Cruella de Mom know it’s okay, the pendulum will swing back the other way and you won’t always feel like supermom’s evil twin.
Really, what I’m trying to get at is that you are doing amazing at one of the hardest jobs in the world. When the mom guilt sky rockets and the emotional bank gets low know that it’s okay. Know that I’m here to tell you that you are one incredible woman!
What words of advice would you give?
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